


nothing between

by secretsinmyhead



Category: Poetry - Fandom
Genre: Diary, F/F, F/M, Feelings, Gen, Poetry, Random - Freeform, Rejection, Sad, girl love, why did I write this, why not
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-10-12
Updated: 2018-11-16
Packaged: 2019-07-29 18:14:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 810
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16269680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretsinmyhead/pseuds/secretsinmyhead
Summary: Poetrynothing to sayalways alonejust you and menothing betweencan never atonecursed unseenjust you and meundoubtedly alone





	1. y o u r s

my heart whithers  
just me (why did i think)  
you smile  
i shatter

im yours  
undoubtedly

you're not mine  
voice singing  
his name escapes  
through your cursed lips

your lips  
pink like a rose

your hair  
soft to the touch

your eyes  
suck my soul away

im yours  
and it hurts

because you'll never be mine

and always be his

always stuck as being just your  
girl friend

nothing ever more

never your  
girlfriend


	2. m o n s t e r

you talk as if  
you're the judge  
and we, cattle

words are shouted  
it hurts

but when doesn't it

love  
brings you such hate  
such shame

why do you  
not accept it

why can't one love  
who they love

how does it affect you  
such hate

as you spit poison  
of people you will never meet  
of people you're convinced aren't here

but they are

i am

how can you hate me so much

why does a sidewalk  
make you rant  
how does one live in bitterness  
on something that holds so much joy

so i sit

i listen to your poisoned words  
of hate against who i am

i listen  
and digest

maybe i'm what you say  
maybe i am a  
m o n s t e r


	3. w i t h o u t

i will get over you  
pick up my shattered heart and start anew

life keeps living  
time keeps ticking  
world keeps spinning  
even if it's without you

i don't wanna be without you  
please hear my calls  
maybe hold my hand

i swear i could treat you better  
than any man


	4. r u i n

you're in my dreams  
haunting me  
driving me to the brink

is this love?  
if it is  
i don't want it

or maybe i do  
because the thought of you  
in my arms  
is all i've ever wanted

is all i've ever hoped for

god i hope this ends okay

it probably won't

you'll be my ruin  
and i'll welcome you  
open armed


	5. s h u t

too late  
why did i do that

now your eyes dont shine as bright  
you look away  
i am no longer your friend

it hurts  
to be nothing  
when i wanted to be everything

shouldve seen it coming  
but i wanted to be blind  
i wanted to stay

oblivious

and now i sit in my grave  
as we crumble apart

all because  
i thought maybe  
just maybe  
you liked me too

i shouldve let you stay  
blind

i shouldve stayed  
with my mouth  
taped shut


	6. s c a r e d

im afraid of you  
of what you know

will you use it as bullets  
will you shoot me while im down

will the words  
smother me  
and the hate  
pummel me

will you use  
what i hold for you  
against me

will all my skeletons  
be thrown out  
of which the closet i reside

or will you  
pretend it never happened  
a little more distant  
and hesitant

will you let me have you  
in the only way i still can

will you let me be there  
for your heartbreak

will you let me be there  
when youre sad

will you allow me to watch  
as you laugh in joy  
even from afar

or will you shoot me

turn the world against me  
turn me against me

im afraid  
not of you  
but of what you could do

the fear courses through my veins  
i cant breathe

you could ruin me  
and id let you

you are ruining me

please dont

please dont turn all i have  
against me

please dont take away   
my friends

my secrets  
my reputation  
my future

please leave my fear alone

they'd hate me

please   
dont

im scared

im scared of you

scared of myself


	7. w o r t h y

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> **  
> Trigger**
> 
> **sexual assault  
> **

Broken is what you’ve created  
Is what you’ve done

Splintered glass  
Spiderwebbing  
Reaching  
Starting to shatter

And as soon as I heal  
I'm stabbed through the heart  
And everything I was  
Again  
Becomes nothing

All due to your wandering hands  
And self-entitlement  
And my ‘provocative attitude’

So I sit  
And ponder  
That how easy it is  
How easy it is for me to break

One word  
One trigger  
One reminder

And my mind is yours again  
That once again  
Fear is all I become

No proof  
No name  
No face

Only memories  
Memories of hands  
Memories of fear  
Memories of ‘no’  
But you pushing ‘yes’

I’d be called a liar  
Since I hold no proof

I’d be called an attention seeker  
For wanting to be held

I’d be called a slut  
For not wanting it

I can’t win  
No person can  
Winning is for those who have something to gain  
And things to lose

I’ve got nothing left

As soon as I gain anything  
Happiness  
Acceptance  
Love

You tear it away with the scar  
You’ve scratched into my heart  
Into my head  
Into my soul

If this is it  
I hope you die  
A painful  
Torturous death  
One worthy of you  
One worthy of the scum of the earth


End file.
